I've lived my entire life.

Recently realized that I'm kind of dyslexic when it comes to the numbers 6 and 9. I confuse 16 with 19, and vice versa. I just hope I don't end up performing a 96 in bed, when the time comes.


May this blog rest in peace.

Great Minds Discuss Ideas

I like fishing for boobs. We all do. And guys, I've come up with a plan for you to get your hands on some. All you need to do is go to a women's underwear store, hide behind a stash/pile/display/whatever of bras, stick your hands out, and wait for someone to try out "The Hand Bra":

This has never failed me.

And if you didn't know, 2012 has been declared as the Breast Awareness Year. I'll be doing my part, as a womanitarian, by conducting surprise check ups. 

Let them know they have breasts.

Speaking of breasts, I like them. What I don't like is a woman who's tired of sweat during summers. Especially boob-sweat. To solve this problem, I have invented a bra to cool everything down. It's padded with coolants to keep the mammary glands at a low temperature. 

The CyroBra

Not only will women find this helpful, but guys will thank me for this too. If you've seen them cold, you'll get the point(s).

Questions I Like Answering

Attend a New Year's Party for Free

New year's eve is two nights away. And here I am, alone in my room, having nothing to look forward to. I'm sad because I haven't been to one party my entire life. I haven't met one drunk chick. No girl, or guy, has grinded against me on the dance floor. Short story shorter: I'm a loser, and I need to attend a party. 

Since all my friends are guys and we're all broke and have no dates to go to parties with, we came up with a few plans. The one I thought of was the most diabolic, of course. Try it if you want; it's simple.

1. Create an event page.
2. Write everything you'd find on any other event page.
3. Invite all the girls. Tell them to invite more girls. And only girls.
4. Don't disclose the venue.
5. Sell them a ticket for a lot of money.
6. Use money to get a ticket to a real party.
7. Refund them a small percentage of what they paid. 
8. Apologize because "the party got diverted" and take them to the real party.
9. Sex.

Here's a party invitation I read yesterday:

Took me an hour to figure out what TWO ZEERO ONE TWO meant.

This is all you need to write to make a fake event page.

However, I'm too lazy to carry out this plan. So, if you're a girl in Islamabad with a lot of money, please take me to a party, or I'll die like I'll sleep on new year's eve - alone. Please, think of me and a few of my single, very sexy friends. All we want is to see a few drunk chicks flashing around, and falling here and there. That's all.

That's all.